Say Cheese... Now Smile!

Sometimes I stop and think "Mom... are you smoking CRACK!?!". She really is something... she would probably make a very colorful Ronald Dahl character. I think that she is the reason why my sister and I are pretty "witty". (some may say that more like SMARTASS but I like to think of it more as "quick wit".) When we were younger if we lost or misplaced something.... or was just BLIND... we asked mom for help. Her response would be "WHAT WILL I DO IF I FIND IT?" I guess to any other child in this situation, it would have been considered a threat. A "find your own damn toy and let me finish painting my nails... cause if I find it then you'll really get it for interrupting me" kind of thing. But in our oh so crazy household, it was the breeding ground for sarcasm. Sure, we took her seriously at first. But then as she kept on using this line over and over as we kept on loosing things, our comebacks became more varied. "Um.. Give us a good beating??" "Um.. give it to me?" "Um.. find it?" "Dance for joy?" "Really.. what would you do if you find it?"

I think my mom's sole purpose of getting a cell phone is to call me when I'm at home... to make sure that in 5 minutes I'll be out in the garage, ready to collect the groceries in her car

Actually, I think my parent's sole purpose of having kids was so that they don't have to clean the house. :) oh you laugh... but I think its true. For example... when Carlene and I were younger, we'd go swimming. (hence for that reason NO ONE is allowed to see our pictures during the "swimming phrase." We were DARK kids wearing NEON. ugly ugly ugly.). Well on our way out to the pool, my dad would stop us and say.. "while you guys are out there... can you guys scrub the alge off of the walls?" Sure it was fun playing with the brushes... but for the first 5 minutes!! It had gotten to the point where I think that he was convinced that he had this little army of poolboys/girls and he would bust out the brushes when our little friends would come over swimming.

I grew up thinking the vacuum was a large HEAVY toy.

I think my parents had this idea that Carlene and I would be the finishing touches in their dream of having a BAND. They would make us practice our piano and watch THE SOUND OF MUSIC... so that we can aspire to be like the VON TRAPP family. Mom would have us perform for her with the karaoke... put on our dance costumes and sing the Spinners' "Working my way back to you babe." or the Carpenters "Please Mr. Postman." It was easy performing for mom and dad at home... but then they wanted to show us off at parties and flipino events... and we'd break down and cry hysterically. Well I guess it was a "performing" thing in general cause even when asked to play the piano for guests... I'd have to be hauled out from the comforts of my bedroom, tears streaming down my face, and hiccupping as I'd play Fur Else. I was such a baby back then. (don't you dare say... "and you still are!")

Oh there are more crazy antics that our parents made us do.. but they are just WAAAYY to embarassing to write about... or even tell. I'm cringing even as I remember them. And if I did... then I surely would get a beating from my mom. :) Ahhhh memories.