HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

*gasp* we just ran out of candy... so now when the doorbell rings, I just sit, cringe and pray that the kids don't get angry and run down the door. Maybe, I think, they'll think that no one is here. But then they'll go back out and see my bedroom light on. Oh man, they're gonna go berzerk huh. There are tons of them. All dressed up like monsters. Hyped up on sugar...

Who wants cans of TUNA!?!

*thats what friends are for... I think*
euterpe16: nicole! i want you to get some!
euterpe16: i'm rooting for you!
spaznik: AW BETH! THATS THE NICEST THING ANYONE HAS SAID TO ME!!
euterpe16: actually, there's this online betting website
euterpe16: like in 40 days and 40 nights
spaznik: so im your racehorse?
spaznik: gee thanks. talk about motivation.
euterpe16: and we're supposed to pick the date that you're gonna get some
euterpe16: and i picked october 12
spaznik: how funny!! miss cleo said something about October 12...
euterpe16: sweet
spaznik: yeah. BET IT ALL BETH!!
spaznik: BET IT ALL!!!
euterpe16 ok, if i win, we'll split it 80-20
spaznik: aw beth!! so I get some AND 80%
spaznik: you're the bestest friend EVER!
euterpe16: hmmm, perhaps i need to clarify the breakdown...

Manny! We have to see Jean's play on the 12th! :P BIG MONEY!

For the last month, its been HOT HOT HOT. So hot that I was wearing shorts/skirts on a daily basis, the lack of airconditioning in my car has been more than annoying, and there are wild fires running amok.

But now, the smoke is almost completely gone. :) Today... the sky was blue and I could see the mountains! Today... I wore a sweatshirt and jeans... today... IT WAS COLD!

It finally feels like Fall and I absolutely love it. :)

Everyone should go watch Jean's play! :) I know i am....

WhoDaManny: thursday
spaznik: ok!
spaznik: sounds good!
WhoDaManny: its a date
WhoDaManny: u me
WhoDaManny: and my spurs
WhoDaManny: and chaps
WhoDaManny: LOL
spaznik: oOooo... you're getting me all excited and wishing it were the 20th already!!

Darnit! I was planning on wearing the same thing! Curse you Manny and your terriffic taste in fashion! CURSE YOU! :P

Wait a sec... he didn't say anything about wearing them. Oh my....

YAY for FRIENDSTERS cause now I have a new friend named Robert... whom I got to meet tonight!

Yes. I'm alive.

No. He isn't a psychopath.

No. I didn't have my friends dress up like trees, hide in the backround, and keep an eye out for me just in case he were to have some psycho/violent/perverted tendencies.

He's a really cool guy. :)

I have to admit I was nervous going there. Really nervous. Nervous to the point where I called Carrie and told her my license plate number just in case something were to happen to my car. Nervous to the point where I told folks what I was last seen wearing so if needed, my body would be easily identified in my yellow top and brown blazer. I wasn't really scared that he was gonna kill me... I was freaked out by the whole process of meeting someone new. Technically, not NEW NEW because we talk and what not... just the whole face to face thing. You know? No you don't know? I'm probably not making any sense here... but oh wells.

In the end, I had a good time. :) It was normal. It wasn't weird or scary. It was like kicking it with a friend and just talking it up... Wait a sec... thats what it was exactly! :)

Nothing is more heartbreaking than tearing down a 5 hour wedding that took you forever and a day to prep and decorate...

Having to take apart centerpieces that you oh so lovingly created under huge amounts of stress...

and then taking those all flowers, hearing them crack as you bend them in half, and shoving them in the trash can... seeing that they lived their "wedding destiny" but overall lived a short life...

Brandi: Did you hear that?
Me: What?"
Brandi: It was the flowers screaming.
Me: OH MY GOSH!! Awwwwww
Brandi: I'm kidding. Stop feeling bad for the flowers.

Argh. Well at least the short wedding reception was beautiful. :)

Tearing down last night sucked. The wedding had ended early (11pm) and the staff was just waiting for us to arrive at midnight so that we can clean up. I guess they were impatient to get home because they did everything they could to ANNOY us and make our lives difficult. Really, you think sitting there and watching us work will make us go faster? Oh yeah.. lets turn off the lights and have us work in pitch darkness. ;P Bastards...

Anyways, I was watching that show MADE earlier on MTV today... and it was the episode where the not-so-popular girl obsessed with duc tape became the homecoming queen. Oh my goodness, what an episode! I had tears in my eyes and goosebumps on my arms in the end... it was so GOOD! I just had to say that. But really, it was probably the greatest episode ever!

*Fires fires fires!*
Joe: How's your house?
Me: Its good!
Joe: So it isn't burned down?
Me: No... we're ok.
Joe: Well if you need someone to water things down... you know you can call...
Me: But what if you're busy? You'll probably say "I'm in LA right now... I'll call you later"
Joe: Or "Ok... hold the fire back for an hour... I'll be there soon."

TTIIIIIRRRREEEEDDD.

That pretty much sums it up.

I don't think I've ever done an event where I was SO STRESSED OUT. It seemed like there were all these factors against us just to finish... Oh my goodness, Sonny and I found ourselves over at Magic Mountain at 7am this morning, with no SAN FERNANADO MISSION BLVD exit in sight. Yeah... apparently we took the wrong 5 freeway! Making those centerpieces was HELL. Since these suckers were SOO big, we couldn't make them in the shop before time, so we had to make 28 HUUUUGGEEE pieces outside, this morning, IN THE WIND. As you can imagine, many obsenities were groaned in frustration as these things toppled over... over and over again. At one point, it came down on my head... which made a loud "THUD" and I became lightheaded and dizzy for a good 10 minutes afterwards. But whatever... kept on working...

I think I have a bump on my forehead because of this centerpiece...


OoO...

In the end though, it came out really pretty. (as expected) Technically, this wasn't our biggest wedding peoplewise... that one would have been the 700 guest Indian wedding last December, but this was our BIGGEST PRODUCTION-wise considering that everything was fresh and it took us a week just to prep for this thing. I guess there was a sorority function in the ballroom next door, and so these girls kept on coming in the room and "ooh-ing and ahh-ing" over all the decorations. One girl even said "This is what I want when I get married." Haha. We all sort of cringed when she said that.

"Ok everyone! The company has gone bankrupt so you won't get your paychecks... but we REALLY do appreciate your hard work."

HA :P

OH. Aside from work (which wasn't too bad) or the fires, icky air and ashes....

I had a good day today. :)

YAY for 25 cent sodas at Walmart!

It was a nice, chill, laidback, happy day.

Look! A new cute puppy pic!

Since her puppy classes... she's learned how to SIT, LAY DOWN, STAY... and is in the process of learning how to roll over. :) Isn't she the cutest!?

Ok. Sleep now. BIGGEST WEDDING EVER tomorrow. Need rest. :)

The fire is about 30 miles away... but theres a cloud of smoke over here that's just downright gross...

Eww... it makes you not want to breath...


On the freeway to work, driving away from the fire. The sun is an eerie shade of RED. Looks like something evil huh...
See that strip of CLEAN air? MmMm clean air....


Ash on my mailbox... on my car... in my nose... in my lungs... *cough*


Right at this moment... outside my window. Eww...

The fires are making the sky ugly. Not to mention, making it hard to breathe and leaving layers of ash on my car. The whole thing looks pretty scary though...

I hate the new girl. I don't normally use the word "hate" (I really don't), but she brought it out in my vocabulary because she's so damn negative. She HATES everything. Serious. The other day, NO DOUBT came on the radio and she says "This is the only song that I like of No Doubt. Everyone loves them. I HATE them." WHO HATES NO DOUBT but still like one of their songs? Other things she's said that she hated include
-Stater Brothers (Apparently they're ghetto and they don't have anything nice.)
-Country Music that have God references, any patriotic references, or just sound "trailer trashish"
-Cats. (but she has 2)
-Southern California (she was raised up north)
-cold weather
-that Jr Senior Song
-Disco
-Sugar Ray
-"Shake your Tailfeather"
and a lot of other stuff... If I had a quarter for everytime she "hated" something, I'd have 43 bucks.

Drained. So drained. I can't believe that everything we're doing is for ONE WEDDING.

Oh my gosh, and it's ONLY FRIDAY?

It doesn't feel like a Friday. It feels like... I don't know. Definitely not a Friday though.

And tomorrow is Saturday (work)... and the day after Sunday (BIGGEST WEDDING EVER w/teardown).

I realized today that I won't have a weekend.

Shoot me.

I will cherish my Monday. My whole 5 hours of free time before I go to school. Oh yes. And next weekend, there's 2 weddings? And the weekend after theres another big wedding?

Really. Shoot me.

Wait. Don't. Theres a lot I want to live for. Jason Mraz on the 7th. Christmas. Graduation. The newest NSYNC album... amongst some other things... :)

Whew. Almost lost it there. Happy thoughts saved me. :)

:)

Big big big congrats to my cousin Bombie and Michelle who had a baby yesterday! YAAY! Its a girl... don't know what her name is yet... but YAAAY! So the count is now: 2 girls. Tita Lagring was hoping that it would be a boy but reasons that since its a girl, they have another reason to try to have another baby. But YAAAY! "Yo baby... its your birfday..." I'm a auntie... again. :)

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!. "Yo daddy.. its your birfday!" We actually celebrated it with Brunch at the Pacific Palms last Sunday with the family. Its been a family filled weekend... and I can't complain because I just love them so much. :)

Carlene, Sonny, Angel and I went to go visit Jen at Staples after the brunch since she missed out on the fun... then watched SCHOOL OF ROCK (which was REALLY good... its like Sister Act, without the nuns or whoopi... but with Jack Black, kids and rock music!) and met up again with Jen for dinner since she missed out on the movie. ;)

~*~
Its mid-October... Why is it so HOT!?! Where are you winter? Come out and play! I want to enjoy cups of apple cider next to the fireplace! I want it to rain so that I can jump in the puddles! I want to wear jeans and not care about shaving my legs unless I REALLY have to! I want to bundle up in cute jackets and scarves already! Not fair...

Booger. I think I'm getting sick too. My throat is in the begining stages of "icky" and my nose is a bit stuffed. :( Time to OD on vitamin C and water... Being sick in the heat sucks. Being sick when in winter is still pretty sucky but its bearable.

This weekend, we're having the BIGGEST WEDDING EVER. No kidding. Its the BIGGEST WEDDING EVER! And since it's the BIGGEST WEDDING EVER this week is gonna suck. I must have hundreds of little scratches and cuts on my hands. (well, not hundreds... more like 5... but by the time the week is over... its gonna be hundreds!) The wedding itself will be on Sunday, so I'll be living at the shop until then (with the exception of tomorrow afternoon since I have class... but you know what I mean.) If I survive... I'll have pictures because its gonna be beautiful. I won't be. I'm gonna look like hag. A sick hag. A sweaty sick hag. But the decorations itself will be gorgeous. :) Fresh flowers everywhere! OoOo sounds pretty huh...

OH. I *heart* Pic! :)

~*~
*update* The baby's name is Myla. :) Isn't that the cutest name? I can't wait to meet her...

*update #2* Can't meet baby just yet. Offically sick. :(

"They found pubic hair on her panty. And another man's semen. She slept with more men. She's not a nice girl."
-my Tita Lagring on the Kobe case.

The entire time she was telling me this, she was leaning forward, speaking in hushed tones, and caressing my hand, as if such vulgarity would shock my ears.

:) I love my aunt.

Speaking of family, I had a delicious dinner with them over in Pasadena for Angel's birthday tonight. Oh my baby cousin is 18 years old. How freaky is that! Oh how she used to cry and whine and pout when she was little.... she still does the same things, but now she's 18! ;) I think its pretty awesome to discover who these kids are really are. When we were younger, it was all about fun and games. Now, its actually getting to know each other... so along with saying that we are cousins... we can also say that we're friends.

Aww. Now isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever read?

Now for the not so sweet.

My windshield has a crack in it. AGAIN! And my airconditioning is acting up. AGAIN! Oh woe is my car.

Ok. Happy thoughts now!

After 7 weeks of being in the dark... I HAVE TV! :) Sweet glorious television! Music videos, reality tv, reruns, news... ITS ALL THERE and then some! We added Cinemax... so you know what that means...

SOFT PORN!

Actually, more movies... but hey soft porn is pretty damn fun to watch...

"Oh pizza delivery guy..."

So while I'm waiting for the new server, did some cleaning so it wouldn't look so... um... messy.

I know. Its pink. Deal with it.

:)

Back to school and work this week. YAY? Actually, it hasn't been too bad. Well, except...

While I was at the laundrymat today, I was eating my lunch on a bench next to the coin dispenser. As I'm about to take my first bite into my sandwich... a heavyset man goes to the coin machine and deposit a twenty. As he's collected his gold, he bent over and gave me what you might call a "perfect" view of HAIRY ASS-CRACK.

*shudder*

Lets just say I wasn't so hungry afterwards. Nor could I keep a straight face... what the freak!?!

On a brighter, much happier, not so ill note...

I need you
more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start...
So build me up,
Buttercup, don't break my heart

Big thanks to Manny and Joe for serenading me in their own little ways the same song song on 2 separate occasions today. :)

Tonight, Carlene, Sonny and I opted to get out of the doldrums of the weekend and had some fun down at Knotts Scary Farm with Jean, Sakura and Carrie.

I had a LOT of fun screaming and running from monsters and gouls. Actually, the best was probably the last 2 mazes... in the first one, there were so many odd monsters lurking the corners that you couldn't help but laugh. One monster got me really good... and him and his other homie monster congratulated themselves by laughing, high fiving, and saying "THATS RIGHT BABY!" Well, that got me laughing... and that grew even more so when a big burly monster leaned up to me and "meowed." It was downhill from there...

*at the end of "THE INQUISITION*
monster come up behind jean and nicole: bug-a-boo
jean and nicole scream...
monster walks by chuckling to himself: That was the easiest scare of the night
nicole: oh my gosh... did he just call us an easy scare?
monster: yeah. I just said "bug-a-boo."
jean: my friend here is easy in other ways..
nicole: shut up whore!
monster: now THATS funny.

I just couldn't stop laughing. In the last maze, one vampire seeing that I was pretty much useless just started saying "scary scary scary" to me... which made me laugh even more. There was a monster who was walking around saying "I wanna go home." Once again.. I was laughing. And at the every end, when I was caught of guard by my very last monster... I screamed when he "boo-ed" me but couldn't help but laugh cause he got me so good...

When I first got to the park, I had a headache because I was screaming so much... but in the end, my headache came back because of the laughter.

So tonight was a very good night. I haven't had such a good laugh or fun in a while and I was very grateful for it.

Excuse the lack of graphics. Going through some "server" (or someother computer jargon) changes. I think CSULB figured that someone transferred and so now they're laying the 'smackdown.' So I need to beg and plead with those prettyugly folks next door to let me house my pictures and whatnot overthere. Maybe if I beg really really hard I can get a new template too. But then again, they're very much in demand and will probably ask for some exorbant fee. Or maybe if I buy my sister some ice cream, she'll relent and do it for free. ;) Maybe...

Feeling a bit better. :)

I feel so drained.

Friday afternoon, we had the wake/rosary/memorial which I guess was alright. I don't know how to judge it. Nice? Sad? Difficult? All three.

The Sky Rose chapel at Rose Hills was gorgeous. Nanang would have liked it.

When I first got there, I stopped by her casket to see her. This was the moment that my Uncle Nanding called to me with his camera... apparently he wanted to take a picture. I probably had this really freaked out look on my face so he just walked away...

As expected, a lot of family and friends were there. I was suprised to see some faces that I haven't seen in a LONG time like old friends from elementary school and their parents. I was also really really happy to see Melissa, who reminded me of how she'd used to call me back in high school and Nanang would answer the phone, but when I wasn't there would respond "Nicole is not here. I AM ALONE." or how when I'd have friends over and then I'd have to chase after my Nanang cause she'd attempt walk out into the streets... and really happy to see Jean there, who didn't even know my Nanang but came for support.

The Memorial was hard. I didn't think it was going to be that hard... but it was. I thought we'd laugh and share happy memories... which we did, but it just made that ache worse cause I realized I was going to miss her so much. Probably the worse was at the very end, they had everyone sing this one illocano song that my Nanang used to sing... and right then and there, I realized that I was never going to hear her sing it again.

By this morning, I figured that the Funeral itself would be easy since we had done a lot of crying the night before... but no. Everything felt... surreal. They closed the casket and I remember walking with the family in the procession at the Mass. Somehow I read the Prayer of the Faithful. We all got up and surrounded the coffin and each of the family sprinkled Holy Water on it. Then it was over and we drove to the other side of the mausoleum for the intermment. The echos of everyone sobbing and crying loudly inside the mausoleum was traumatic, even more so that the sounds of the coffin scraping against the cement or seeing a man climb into the "crypt" and pushed the coffin into "position".

The reception was a haze. Since my dad was expecting a lot of people, he had to find a "hall" to have it at. Well, the nearest one that was available was this Mexican Restaurant/CLUB... so when I walked in to see lights on the wall, a stage and dancefloor, somewhat hootchie waitresses, I was pretty much shocked. It was nice though... a LOT of FOOD, open (wine and beer) bar, and basically a happier atmosphere. But still, my mind was not quite there... I did though get a big laugh when one of my uncles who was walking by eating a piece of chicken, finished his chicken and threw the bone on our table very discretely... and when one of my aunts and uncles actually went to the dancefloor and danced to Mambo #5.

Anyways, once again, THANKS SO MUCH to everyone with their kind thoughts, prayers, hugs, and messages. You really don't know how much to means to me...

I wish time could stop right now because I never want to have to go through this again...

But I know its very unlikey.

After a week and a half of waiting... today was the first viewing of my Nanang.

For the past couple of days, I haven't been able to sleep because of all the anxiety building up in me just for today. When I'd close my eyes, my mind would start visualizing of what she may look like in her casket and whatnot... so then I'd grab any silly romance novel next to me and read to the point of exhaustion just to get something else into my mind... sleep would come around 6am and it still would be pretty restless.

Today wasn't too bad. I was really nervous about seeing her for the first time this way. I didn't know what to expect. So when I went over there... I stayed back a bit. Then I saw her and it hit me. She wasn't sleeping. She didn't look the same. There was a spiritless body there that I didn't know... but at the same time it was her.

The moment I started crying, it felt like the whole room got quiet and really the only thing I could hear was myself. I cried on my dad's shoulder.

Afterwards, it was ok. I sat with Jen and Angel and we reminiced about how Nanang taught us how to play Mah Jong, the times she chased us with a knife when we were bad, the time she ran into the swimming pool... and I felt much better.

A lot of family and friends have been coming in, so the room was filled with people talking and laughing. Yeah.. though the mood was sober, there were some silly moments were you couldn't help but smile. Like when my Tita Lagring would go into a crying/wailing spell in ilicano at the casket... she'd finish and then turn and look kind of embarassed. My Uncle Nestor then told her that she should cry and wail in ENGLISH so that everyone could understand. :)

So yeah, it wasn't too sad. She was 91. She lived a long and happy life. We're just gonna miss her. Thats all.

spaznik: disneyland sucks! no big thunder... no spacemountain... no splashmountain...
Zasher816: jeez
Zasher816: tell me when everything is open
Zasher816: and i'll go
spaznik: im sure during the holiday season...
spaznik: cept for space.... that's gonna be down till like 2005.
spaznik: can we say SUCK!!
Zasher816: suc!
Zasher816: whoops
Zasher816: i mean
Zasher816: suck!
spaznik: wow... i guess we can't.
spaznik: :P

"We would go to the beach. Your Tita Lagring, your Uncle Nestor, all of them... we'd go to the beach. And then we'd kill a goat. Then we'll go swimming."
~My Uncle on his youth

Now offically, been spending my 'nights' at my dad/aunts place for the Rosary. I'm definitely feeling better... although now it feels "real" and I don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing.

My dad is still driving me crazy. I've told him many a time that I don't want to sing at the memorial. I'll go up and say something meaningful and share a thought or two... but I don't think I can survive singing a song... and I don't want to "perform" like its some kind of variety show. But he still isn't getting it. He "kindly suggested" that I "gain some composure the day of the memorial" so that I can sing. He even tried to trick me into doing it. He asked me if I knew some song by Josh Groban, to which I replied "yeah... thats a pretty song." He then followed by saying "Can you sing it?" then added "Nanang would love that."

Can you make it any harder? Really. Can you?

Argh.

Anyways, on a much brighter thought...

My mom went a high school reunion this past weekend where she got a cd of some old music what her and her friends used to listen to. We popped the cd in the car as we drove over to the Rosary and my mom was singing and dancing (swaying) about to the songs. She told us about how when she was at her reunion, when a certain song would come on, her and her girlfriends would get all "happy" and scream and do their little dance (swaying) to it. I thought that was the cutest thing.

But then I thought about my high school friends and I... and imagined how maybe in 30 years time, when we'll hear "DA DIP" or 112's "ONLY YOU" we'll scream and probably start dancing (booty) too. Or maybe bust out our old "STOP" Spice Girl routine. How about hanging out with Joe, Luc, or old school CKIers in 20 years and hearing "BYE BYE BYE." You know jumping 3 times in sync (haha) to the beat is inevitable.

Then I imagined dissapointed faces on my imaginary kids as they realized that their mommy... was a total dork. ;)

I went to my dad's earlier tonight. When I got there, there was a group playing mahjong in the garage. Apparently they had a rosary beforehand for my Nanang... and they've been having it all week since she died. What really annoys me is that NO ONE TOLD ME. When I asked my dad why... he said "because you don't call me." What annoys me even more is that I was there Wednesday and they didn't say anything. I talked to him briefly on Friday... nothing. All this time, I had been wondering about the family having prayers... just came to the assumption that they were waiting for the rest of the family to get in. But they've been having it all along!

Since I "moved out", I have been completely out of the loop. Yes, I'm sure a good part of it is my fault because I can pick up the phone as well... but really. Now it's just... argh. Nanang was in the hospital for 3 days before she died. Last time she had a "close call" a month ago, it was my cousin Jen who called me. The night she died, they KNEW she was going, but I didn't have an idea until it was too late and she was already gone.

I guess I'm more hurt than angry. I know my relationship with my dad has been pretty strained since.. well as far as I can remember, but all this? I've been here at home with Carlene mourning... while he's been with other family and they're having their closure. It just isn't fair... or maybe I'm just being self-centered and silly. Maybe I can't think straight right now. :( Whatever it is... it just hurts.

After several gallons of green/yellow/beige/black paint on the walls, the banister, carpet (eek!), clothes, hair, skin... yards of wood trimming... and a WEEK later! The living room is now FINISHED. Well, there are some touchups here and there that need to be done... but overall, its lookng pretty niiiice. ;)

before.... after!


what an improvement! no more white walls!


its like trading spaces!


I had dirty pirate feet today. Eww.

But yay! Its (nearly) done! Now only the downstairs bathroom, the family room and kitchen need to be "painted." Maybe later... late late later....

In other news, today was Penelope's first day in puppy training school!


Tough luck kiddo. We all have to go through it. ;)

Yes. That IS a sailor collar on the puppy. Isn't it the cutest!? :)

Right now though, I'm humming. I can't sing it cause its in illocano, but I know the song. Its my Nanang's song and when I think of it, I can see her dancing or hear her bracelets chiming when she moved her arms. It was the song that you'd see Nanang dance with another grandmothers at the parties. Carlene and I call it the "sister sister song" because we'd joke that when one of us gets married, in addition to a father-daughter dance, we'd have a sister-sister dance just like Nanang.

:)


Its been hard. Yes, I've been thinking of the good times and as much as it makes me happy, it makes me miss her so much that I can feel it in my chest.

I'm praying that next week I'll have some closure.

Anyways, been working and spending time with the family. Its been really nice. The other night, we immersed ourselves in the wonderful world of FILIPINO MOVIES! :) Next week, I actually have off from work... which is good since thats when everything is happening, but on the other hand, I need the money. My bills just came in and well, they're not pretty.

*speaking of work...*
spaznik: i just got home from work.
TaIksal0t: how was whoring?
spaznik: good. made some money....
spaznik: it was out at the university of redlands...
TaIksal0t: wow
TaIksal0t: funs tuff
spaznik: uh huh!
TaIksal0t: lots of costumers tonight, then?
spaznik: hahah 274 to be exact.
TaIksal0t: so tonight was a good night, did you break 20 bucks?
spaznik: hahahaha oh baby oh baby i sure did
spaznik: i was on my knees for HOURS!
spaznik: chaircovers are a BITCH to put on!
TaIksal0t: hahah
TaIksal0t: is that what they call it now

:P

The house is in shambles. We started painting Sunday night... Monday got the news, and since then Carlene and Sonny have worked on the living room while I've been at school/work. We still have to finish some detailing but probably won't be doing it for a while or until we buy one of those super big ladders so that we can reach the ceiling. But I guess you can say that the house feels like what I'm feeling. Very unsettled.

They postponed the funeral/viewings until next weekend so that all the family from Philippines, Hawaii, Canada, Nor Cal... have enough time to get here. Right now I'm anxious for it. Its like when you fall and scrap your knee. It hurts... but then you see your mom come at you with that antibacterial spray that you know will sting like hell... but then afterwards it'll be ok. Well at least I hope it will be.

The whole thing should be pretty insane though. Carlene jokes that we're gonna be eating a whole lot next week. Great. I guess its good that black is "slimming."

If they take pictures of family next to the casket... are they supposed to smile?

Ha ha.

But really thanks so much for all the thoughts and prayers. It means a lot to me. :)

Anyways, on a much lighter note, the faint sound of TV is filling the house. I finally caved in a bought rabbit ears for the tv so now we have a fuzzy but adequate reception with basic cable. Apparently, there's an election this Tuesday. See, I wouldn't have known. It feels like we're taking baby steps back into the real world with it. Sonny and I sat there for a good hour wondering if what we were watching was really funny... or if it been so long that we just don't know anymore.

Also, I got a really cute message from Jennie in regards to friendster that made me laugh:
*YOU FOUND HIM! haha good job! (high five!!!)*
Oh memories of old crushes, silly AIM chats, and pandas. Oh the pandas... :)