Shopping at the mall the day after Christmas is like rummaging through ruins after an earthquake. RobinsonsMay was in shambles!!.... well maybe it was just the West Covina one... but clothes were strewn all over the place, there were lines around every corner, and chances of you finding what you want were very slim. Our inital goal was to order new matresses for the new house. Oh my gosh!! Matress shopping was so much fun! :) Its like the commericals where you see people just lying on the display beds at the matress store... I was going from on bed to another.. to another... and to another..lying down... changing positions, and just getting the feel for it. I felt like Goldilocks.. some were too hard.. some were too soft... and then I found one that was just right... not to mention had a damn good price too.

So once we had that all down, we decided to take advantage of that CRAZY sale and buy some new bedding... and 2 hours later we hauled our new found treasurers to the car. It was really hard cause 1) new house... i have my own room and I want to paint it... soooo.. what kind of sheets should I get to coordinate with the room I haven't moved into yet? 2) YAY!!! found a good patern, nice colors, matching pillows, 250 thread count, extra deep fitted sheet... but not in FULL!!! Curses all too hell... must find new set. Well eventually, we went home happy... I think. :)

Well, afterwards, went to buy new bras... YAY!! I was telling Joe and Luc on Sunday that new underwear, especiallyof they are sexy and cute, will totally boost a girl's spirit. Like I can wear sweats and something oh so crappy... but just as long as I have something cute underneath... its all good. :) (Where did we come up with the topic of underwear?? OH wait.. i remember... Cause it was back on the topic of Christmas gifts and they said it was ok for a girl to give a guy like underwear without having it be like an "intimate" gift... hmmmm.. I didn't know that. ) Its like when you get a new good haircut... you just feel all pretty and pampered. Except I don't really think girls constantly check out and admire their boobs in every reflection... well if the bra is padded.. then yeah.. maybe.

Manny gave me great advice yesterday... Yeah.. i'm still confused as to the opposite sex and I probably always will... but Manny's advice was simple and just what I needed to hear. THANKS MANNY!! :) *nibble*

:0 We're all sick. Well not sick sick... just aching from Christmas Fondue experience. Like I said eariler... Carlene and I got mom this fondue set. :) OK, so if you don't know what fondue is... its when you all sit around a hot pot and you can dip your food. There are like several ways you can fondue... you can.. 1) dip bread into warm melted cheese. 2) you can use it as a dessert.... you know dip strawberries in warm melted chocolate or you can do what we attempted and that is 3) cook meat and veggies in hot oil or boiling broth. We did the boiling broth option.

So my mom prepared an array of raw meat and veggies so that we can dip it and cook it in the boiling broth. BUT... our first attempt seemed good... but I don't think it was entirely cooked. And then the broth just wasn't boiling, so we gave up and put everything in a giant pot. Finally the whole thing was working but the food was just too damn hot and all you can hear was "ahhh... ahhh.. HOTT!" while we were spitting out the food... and all laughing of the absurbity of the situation.

And now we're all slighty sick. I think it was the first round when the meat the LOOKED cook.

But ohhh the memories that we'll have.... :) Fondue Christmas 2001

:) Ah Christmas.... I didn't really ask for anything, but I feel as if I've recieved the whole world.

Everyone is sleeping right now... Carlene and I got home probably about an hour ago from Tito Nandings... Christmas was great! :) My Aunt and cousin came from the Philippines, Jr's cousins John and Gerry were down too, and the usual Concepcion clan was all together with the exception of my mom... who had to stay home cause she was on call and she wasn't feeling well. :( I guess thats the only thing that got to me today... we were all around the table saying grace, and Jr brought up that blood is thicker than water. (an analogy that was used when my mom left my dad so many years ago that always makes me cringe... i don't think they use it as a way to make me feel guilty about the situation anymore, but still...) And yes, I'm sure that my dad's side care for my mom still cause they gave Carlene and I her presents to pass on to her, but still, I sometimes wish things were the same as before... but then again... I probably wouldn't be as happy as I am today would I. Mom wouldn't be either. And dad wouldn't be the way he is now... I guess things can't be all too perfect.

Well at least Christmas day will be spent with my mom... *hopefully she won't be called in to work* We got her this really spiffy fondue set, so she's all ready to break it in for Christmas lunch. And then a movie... :)

Traditions change.

Midnight mass was hilarious though. All the cousins sat in the front pew while the adults sat behind us... and well... they slept during the mass. *tsk tsk* I think we were trying our hardest to stay awake for fear that the priest might come over and scold the whole family for falling alseep.

I really really love my family... :) My cousins and aunts and uncles are the greatest... and pure entertainment. Thank God for them... and that I only see them on occasion, because if I were to see them ALL the time... I'd definitely go batty.

You know what I love? I love it when you walk outside at night and its freezing cold.. but you can smell the wood burning in the fireplaces of your neighbors. It just screams winter!!

With all the last minute shopping and preparations... Christmas is finally here! Last Friday, Carlene and I went over to the Simbang Gabi mass over at St. Paul's. (Simbang Gabi in the Philippines is this traditional dawn Christmas Mass, but here its just a tagalog mass and gathering afterwards) It was really cute because they had some of the little girls in the congregation dress up as angels and they were sitting up at the alter and waving to their parents... :) Afterwards, we met up with some of Carlene's friends over in Pasadena for Cheesecake and shopping. :) OH the weirdest thing... On our way home, we stopped by the 24 hour Walmart to get some medicine (I'm feeling icky still) and it was around midnight... and the place was SOOOOOO crowded. It was like it was 12 in the afternoon there.. the lines were long... i guess last minute shopping huh. Insane...

Saturday was mom's Barkada christmas party... :) I have to admit, Carlene and I weren't too excited to go considering that for the last 5 years, it usually consist of us kids just sitting in the corner, bored out of our minds and trying to think of something fun or interesting to do. But I actually had a lot of fun... too bad we pretty much see each other once a year... or on occasion when Tito Jerry and Tita Thel wanna go camping and go invite the whole clan. So instead of having the adults just line us up and give us envelopes, we had Kris Kringles instead since we are all older. So I had Myles and Arron had me... (yay!! I got my books!! :)) It was hilarious because Adrian had Carlene, and he got her the Shrek DVD... so Carlene was opening it and there was a game piece on the wrapping. Anyhoo, on her game piece, it said "YOU WIN AN X BOX." Of course, Carlene doesn't know what it is and all the boys are screaming at her... :) SO now at least when the Christmas party is back at our house, we'll have something to do! But poor Joseph was so bitter and wanted to kick Carlene's ass afterwards though...

Heheheh.. speaking of Carlene, she's so cute. She just came in right now crying cause she finished reading "A Walk To Remember" by Nicholas Sparks just now with Michael over the phone... apparently he's crying too. :)

On Sunday, spent the day down in Pasadena with Joe, Luc, and Armando finishing up some GO WEST! stuff. :) EEK! I gotta think of clues for the scavenger hunt... *note to self... think of clues* I think this is the most times I have gotten lost in one day... damn those YAHOO directions. There was this old decrepid woman who gave us the evil eye because Joe accidently cut her off... I think she cursed him, his children, and his children''s children. The day was fun though... except when all the guys went into a round of singing OOMPA LOOMPA from Willy Wonka.. *ewwwwww.. its a creepy movie! * I think that maybe they dropped me off first so then they can all go to HOOTERS... ;p At least I got to go see big giant double decker Target!

Anyways, today is Christmas eve... and I'll be going over to my Uncle's for dinner an probably midnight mass. :) Sooooo... Maligayang Pasko!

:) for those who don't understand... Merry Christmas!!

Hope you get all that you asked Santa for...

With so many girlfriends having GUY PROBLEMS... It got me thinking...

I probably can be seen as an optimist... I'm always hoping that the best will happen. But when I realize that I do like someone, I get negative. Not negative like.. OH NO THE WORLD IS GONNA END... but more like.. "he doesn't know I'm alive and therefore nothing will happen with this lil crush of mine." sort of negativity. I'm thinking this is my way of pushing away any chance of a relationship for fear that I'll probably and most likely, will get hurt in the end. But say I DO wanna try something... what do I do? Just blurt out and say I LIKE YOU? That would seem too easy... way too easy and therefore he would end up replying "gee thats sweet and all, but I don't feel the same way." And THAT would be the hitch of this oh so easy approach. I guess I can throw signs of interests.... be all flirty and giggly... but 1) how do I know if he's reading the signs correctly and 2) my personality is pretty flirty and giggly (in a friendly manner) to begin with, so he'd be like..."Nicole is just being same silly Nicole as usual..." Then theres my favortie and most used option... I could wait... and wait.. and wait... and pray and hope that in my shy silence, he'll notice me and perhaps like me back. But usually, nothing happens cause he had no clue that I liked him in the first place.

Are guys just as confused about women just as we are about them?

I've said this before... I think that guys should have a scrolling marquee on their foreheads so that we know what they are thinking. "I'm hot... I'm cold... I like waffles... Nicole is cute and I would like to get to know her better... I want a corkboard for Christmas..." something like that so that life would be easier.

Carlene and I went out to lunch with dad on Monday... turns out he's trying his bestest to get us fixed up with his friend's sons. He's like scoping out his future son-in-laws. Scary... THANK GOD that arranged marriages aren't big anymore or else I'd be so screwed. But then again, life would be somewhat easier without the pressure of finding that certain someone to spend the rest of your life with. Hmmm... but still... I've seen what happened with arranged marriages in the JOY LUCK CLUB... scary.

I think I'm pretty terrified to bring someone into my family... my mom is pretty cool... but my dad... it would take a lot to win him over. And then there are my aunts and uncles... who are all really easygoing, but still... they are some interesting characters that new comers may not be used to.

My parents only knew each other for about 5 months or so and they got married. And look how things are... Something in me is scared that I could be one of them in the future. I'll marry someone who is wrong for me. Its a fear of making the wrong committment... but how will i know if that person is the right one and that I'm not making a mistake.

Notice how I'm freaking out over nothing. Probably when the time comes.. I'll know right? *crosses fingers*

i think im getting sick. :( my throat is all icky and it kinda hurts when i swallow... that cant be good huh. its been really really cold here... insanely cold... cold where i have 3 quilts on my bed and i'm still nippy. Brrrrrrr.

Anyhoo...the weekend was good. Friday, my mom woke me up so that I can run some errands... then while driving in the rain.. carlene calls and she needs me to pick her up cause shes got tire problems... then off to Target to finish some Christmas shopping... meet up with carlene in San Dimas.. get lunch... go shop again at Target... and then back home to get ready for the christmas party, finish baking another tray of baklava, and cook.

The christmas shindig was lots of fun.... pretty chill. :) Lots of eating... I think everyone kept on snacking up until 6am. We played that one Gift Exchange game... YAY HARRY POTTER PIGGY BANK! Cranium went pretty wild... I got to team up with Luc and Ryan Billings... Ryan was our actual SMART guy on the team, whereas Luc and myself... we were the creative forces. ;) Then it was Mafia.. where the bastards kept on killing me. A great big :P to Beth for doing that.

Saturday night was pretty eventful. Big night at D&B. Cept for the fact that I'm incredibly retarded and didn't have a valid CA ID. Luckily Manny and Mondo were still near the door so I wasn't abandoned. I beged with the bouncer... showed him my SS card... Red Cross Blood Doner Card... but nothing. :( So then Mondo drove Beth, Luc, and myself back to my apartment so that I can search for it while Ryan, Kenny, and Manny stayed and waited for the table. I was about to give up.. (and screaming at Luc and Mondo to get out of my room cause it's soooooo messy) when Beth looks inside my closet dresser and finds my new drivers license. YAY!!! =D And by the time we get there.. we have a table! Double YAY!! D&B was very cool.. kinda reminded me of Vegas without all of the ching-ing of the slot machines. Dinner was pretty good... even though the service was kinda eh. Crazy drunkard Beth had one Mudslide and then got incredibly tired and RED. ;) Afterwards, we all just played the games... got lots of tickets (thanks to Luc and Manny for jacking the huge pile of them on the ground) and rubber hammers for everyone! soooo great big THANKs to Beth for finding my ID... Mondo for driving and trying to talk to the manager... and everyone else for not KICKING MY ASS!

Afterwards we went back to Beth's place were we chatted about Christmas gifts for the opposite sex (really.. guys want corkboards, cotton teeshirts, and a pack of pens??) among other things. So yeah... even with all the dorky madness in the begining and i felt incredibly BAD for being such a moron.. I can look back and laugh... and cringe... but still laugh... and cringe.

Today was mainly my SUNDAY FAMILY DAY! (sorry mariss, keri, and tina... :( We'll meet up soon though! Pinky swear!) But before that, it was off to the gym.. and then Mass (where Carlene and I figured out that our highlight of going to chuch for the last 20 years was waiting to sing whatever the next hymn was... we got excited whenever the choir sang anything old from the Holy Name days... hehehe.. yeah... we're dorks.) and then it was off to dinner.. and then some shopping. When we got home, my mom was convinced that she's the next SHAKIRA and proceeded to dance for Carlene and me (and herself) infront of the mirror... Oooo. that was HILARIOUS.

I really don't know whats gonna happen for Christmas. This is what.. my 3rd christmas with the parents being apart and I still don't know how it will turn out. I'm thinking that she'll come with Carlene and myself to Dads on christmas eve (we usually celebrate christmas eve.. kinda like new years... we open gifts at midnight... on christmas day... its just chill basically.) and we'll have a big huge family gathering... At least I'm hoping that.

My mom has turned into the crazy christmas nazi.. and our home has become santa's lilttle sweatshop. RIght after my final this morning, I came home and followed Carlene to the BMW place so she can get her oil changed.. then it was off for an early lunch over at this wicked thai food place on Indian Hill... then back to go pick up her car. By the time we got home, I was soooo tired from my late study session the night before that I basically conked out. I woke up to my mom yelling at me to wrap gifts and to start packing. (*note... we are moving on the 15th of JANUARY... WHY!??! are we packing already? I dunno. ) I have giftwrapping papercuts as my battlewounds. If we had a tree, t would be so pretty with all the glittering gifts underneath.. but with all the moving hassle, we decided not to get one.. or put up mom's GREEN SPIRAL MODERN INTERPRETATION OF A TREE. :( Yeah.. in a way I kinda even miss that ugly monstrocity. NO tree... no christmas lights... just no time and no point cause of this move. Weirdness. Can't wait though to move.. who's wants to help!?! ;)

JR flaked on me again! =P You sooo aren't my favorite anymore.

CPP had their installation on Friday night over at El Toritos... that was fun despite not being able to be completely obnoxious and clap cause then we would have been too loud for the restaurant to handle. :P But had a grand old time trying to get Kenny to break his "clean" streak of not saying anything with a sexual connotation... (which he finally did on Saturday night... YAY! I get $10!) Got to see all them CPP people.. :) . Watched Joe and Luc wing the awards... crazy fools making animal noises in the parkng lot... Mondo got to break in his ID afterwards... too bad we didn't have a camera. Poor Beth was sick that night... Mikie came and stripped for everyone pleasure and showed off all 5 remixes of R Kelly's FEELIN ON YOUR BOOTY (which has to be the most UNROMANTIC song ever made!! Can you imagine if that was your first dance and considered your "song" and late at night when you are alone with out your special someone... you hear R Kelly croon *boooooo-ooooo-tay* and it brings tears to your eyes? EWWW!) :) It was great!

Saturday, went over to the COSCA christmas party. :) It was sooo awesome. They got all the kids to sing, dance, play an instrument... so there was a little program. :) In fact, they had the kids to played an instrument form a band and play JINGLE BELLS.. and it was beautiful, adorable, and horrible...all at the same time. This is where Carlene and I made plans to kick it with Jr... but nope.. he ditched us. :P

After some good shopping in Long Beach, we rushed over to Pasadena to meet up with everyone for the DCM. But since it was at this new pretty shopping complex,,, yeah... I didn't go. Instead Carlene, Beth, and I ran off to look at shoes and make up. *drool* And Ice Cream at Coldstones... *droool* and then off to watch Oceans 11 with Brad Pitt and George Clooney *droool*. I swear, that movie was such an eye candy movie... and oh so dreamy Brad Pitt always had attention directed at this mouth cause in every scene he was eating or talking or just looking SOO good. *drool* OHHH!!! OK.. so Carlene and I were in the car after the movie waiting to get out of the parking structure... and so we were jsut watching the people around us.. SO there was this group of drunken fools getting into their car when one of them starts dancing. At first he gets all freaky deaky with the girl.. and then hes rubbing his ass against the car window.. and then hes trying to get into the car but instead does famous doorway dance in front of it and this girl can't get into the car. (doorway dance Mel!! Bring back memories!?!?!) SO carlene and I are laughing soooo hard at this fool and wonder if thats what we look like when we're acting dorky in public. Probably huh. Anyhoo.. so finally we get up to the ticket window and the car next to us is the drunken fool! Hes hanging outside his sunroof and dancing.. and looks to us and licks his lips most obscenely. So we got freaked out and sped out of there.

Sunday, stayed in bed as long as I could.. and then rushed off to CSUF for some goooooood studying. MmmmMmmmm. Came home and watched Carlene get all googly with Michael on the phone.. and then it was off to Wal-Mart for some nailpolish remover and 1hr photo so that Carlene can look at her J-Lo pictures of her formal. But noo 1hr photo.. instead its overnight. EH. At least we got to see Richard.. HI RICHARD!! ;) Reduced fat oreos and milk for dessert... yum. Carlene plans to whip my ass tomorrow at the gym after my final. YAY?

Well instead of trying to plan a giant cousin bonding trip... we decided that it would be easier if maybe once or twice a month we go out to dinner. :) So last night it was our first night... So I met up with Jay over at Bombie and Michelles.. and we drove to the Loft where Carlene met up with us. Unfortunately, the girls didnt come.. :( but it was still fun. In typical Jr fashion, he was overly specific about his latest conquests with the opposite sex... ;) he's a pimp of all seasons. I swear... I love my family so much. :) Yeah, we all love to make fun of each other... especially Jay cause he's such a character... but we all love each other and always have great times. hehehhehehe... Speaking of... When we were younger... Jay had one of those evil looking tails.. you know.. a long piece of hair at the nape of his neck... and just to be mean... Carlene and I cut off a small piece of our hair and said.. "OOPS!! SORRY JAY!! WE CUT OFF YOUR TAIL"... oooooo.. the boy cried and cried until he realized we were joking. *sigh* :) There was also the time when Bombie pushed Carlene down the stairs.. and she was saved by Carl... heheheh... Or Bombie teaching me how to dance to THE JETS "CRUSH ON YOU"... hehehehe.. Ahhh.. memories...

its crunch time and im basically using my free time to do whatever i need to get done. finish my paper... work on study guide... christmas cards... and think of clever christmas gifts for those i love... :) But after next wednesday... well technically monday since my paper is DUE on wednesday... life will be hunky dory and christmas will be right around the corner.

My mom has been hilarious the past few days.. I guess its probably since I've been home a lot and not all FTC'd out... her and her friend Lori (the crazy one who came on the cruise to Mexico with us last year and who along with my mom got bumper stickers pasted on their boobs by the waitors at PAPAS Y BEERS) are planning this weekend get-a-way in March to Paris cause they found this insanely great deal to fly over there. In my mom's words... "I hope to go to Paris and find some... how do you say... wee wee?" Yeah.. shes a freak. :) I love her... she was telling me today how this 30 something youngin was picking up on her at the gym... hahahaha.. she's such a babe.

Joe came over earlier today and we went over to Target to get some Christmas cards.. (I probably bored him half to death on my quest for the PERFECT card cause you know... the Christmas card reveals so much about your personality...) and then it was back here where Joe took a nap but woke up in time to watch Britney lip-sync on the Billboard awards. I can't stand Shaggy. You know he really doesn't have an accent. He got an award and BOOM.. no accent. And his "It wasn't me" song,... it wasn't Shaggy that made it so popular.. is was his homie Rimrock or something like singing the chorus... Shaggy is barely in the song. Yeah.. Rimrock is Shaggy's meal-ticket. And really, who actually knows what Shaggy is "rapping" in the song. Yeah... he sucks. OH and how he says..."Closer than my peeps you are to me" in that Angel song frustrates me. "Peeps?" Gross.

The day after...

So how do I feel? I'm happy (incredibly), as Melissa says: giggly, relieved, and perhaps just as perplexed as before. The date auction was a complete success and we were able to raise $700 plus for Pediatric Trauma (whooo hooo Mikes whopping $200 bid was a BIG factor) and I'm very happy to say that Alex bought me. :)

The "date" afterwards was dinner over in boonie land at the Macaroni Grill. Although I'm grateful that It was a group date and I was surrounded by friends, I probably wasn't the greatest date since I was surrounded by friends. I swear, I'm like this pathetic kid who gets distracted with shiny and moving objects. :( But it was nice to have his company and hopefully he'll call so then I talk and not be to distracted. *cross fingers* He's a total sweetie.

The whole date auction experience on the other hand was pretty terrifying. I dunno... I tried running away several times.. even thought about jumping off the balcony. I guess it was the anxiety of standing up there with people eyeing you and then BIDDING on you... *shudder* yeah.. I felt like a whore. Thankfully Ryan kept the bidding fast and it was over with... :)

The night before the whole shindig... I was pretty freaked. I guess it was the date auction anxiety and this damn top 10 list thingie. I think what was going on in my mind was that I was having pangs of self doubt that were effecting my way of thinking. Like this list... like I said earlier, I'm flattered... but WHY!?! I have NEVER ever considered myself as hot... lukewarm cute? yeah.. hot? noooooooo. And this is where my self doublts and the female psyche comes in cause then I was wondering WHY... and thinking that others who see it will go.. HEY! I'M WAY HOTTER THAN THAT CHICK! WHY THE HELL IS SHE ON IT!" Perhaps not... maybe though.. or I think of other girls who are way more worthy of it and it affects me. So rather that boasting my self esteem, it was making me incredibly self conscious. But I'm ok with it now. Mom said that I'm a fool and that I should be happy... She's so wise... and silly. She woke me up this morning demmanding "girl talk."

I was supposed to go with Beth to her convention meeting over at Dominguez Hills, but my mom had a long and busy weekend taking care of her friend who was sick... so I didn't have the heart to tell her I couldn't go out due to another CKI event. (If I did, then I know she would say.. FTC IS OVER! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE!) So we went over to Elsinore to get some good christmas shoppipng done over at the outlets down there. :) YAY outlet shopping! Sure I'm still completely cluess about what I'm going to get people because althought there were some REALLY good buys, I had NO idea. :) Oh well.. hopefully somehthing will come to me in my sleep.