Oh Goodness...

N: So how was your weekend?
J: Eh. I had dinner with my ex-girlfriend tonight and things didn't go well.
N: Aww... I'm sorry to hear that. But how was the rest of your weekend?
J: Awesome!!
N: Oh really? How so?
J: I had great sex!!
N: Um... so why are you talking to me?
J: She was just a friend!!

Welcome to my dating life.

Its funny, when I told my friend about "J" and his weekend activities she stated that she admired his honesty. I saw it as waaaay super modern and I wasn't sure if it was something I'd be able to do... But we continued talking. Deep inside, I knew he was a good guy. He was down to earth, we actually talked for hours about anything and everything and he wasn't one of those pervy creeps. I guess what had drawn myself to him was 1. his want and actual eagerness to have a family and 2. he was cute.. I'm a sucker for cute and guys who like "futures."

The only thing was that we had huge difference in religion and spirituality which did spark some debate. And while I enjoyed the banter, and the super mind stimulating conversations, it sorta came down to that in the end.

And after a couple of weeks of talking, who knew that one debate about down syndrome babies and abortion could be such a romance killer? Oh and the fact that he googled me, but hey at least I'm google-able!! That's sorta charming right?

We Lived Our Lives in Fear!

Tonight, I had dinner with one of my dearest friends from college/high school and whenever we get together, we have these moments that prove why we are friends. For example:

N: Oh, I hate those shows that made me cry! My mom wanted me to watch that one show... uh... the one with the.. uh...
J: The houses!
N: YES! Extreme Makeover Home Edition!
*high five*

See. We're awesome like that.

Anyways, so sitting there we started reminiscing about how things were and the things we would do differently now that we're oh so much "older and wiser." For example:

- Party a little bit more. Yes, my years in CKI were awesome and I have some wonderful memories and friendships that have stemmed from that experience. However, did we really NOT drink during conventions and nighttime events for fear of being kicked out of the organization? Cause you know... being kicked out of a service organization is the worst thing possible.
- Seriously think about your future. Really, is that liberal studies degree going to take you places? Maybe your parents had a good idea when they suggested that you try something in the medical field. But no, you wanted to write or teach or become a dreamer. Not that I am unhappy about where I am now, but seriously younger Nicole, think about it. Your need to throw up over the sight of blood might go away eventually.
- Just talk to the guy. There's no harm in being friendly and forward. Not too forward you hussy. But he has no idea that you're alive and he can't read your mind, so might as well say hi, strike up a convo and slut it up a bit.
- Try some drugs. It can't be that bad... just don't get too crazy and addicted. You drink already.

Oh and one more thing...
N: I'd totally not apply for any credit cards.
J: HELL YEAH!

Hey baby girl watcha doin tonight...

Dinner with my Cousin and his family...

Cousin: So you didn't come to the party cause you had to get freaky.
Me: No. It was a first date. Freaky doesn't happen till the 3rd. I'M KIDDING!!!
Cousin: No. That's what I hear happens. 3rd date is when it goes down.
looks at his 9 year old daughter "
Cousin: Not until 10th date! No!!! WEDDING NIGHT!!"
Niece: "What am I waiting for?"
Cousin: "Nothing!!!!"

Reunited and it Feels so Good?

The thing about working in such a popular place is that you're bound to run into folks. A couple of days ago I was in the park actually playing with friends and I recognized some old acquaintances from college. Back then they were dating and now they were married with their newborn baby girl in the stroller. So of course, I say HI and coo over their new family. We talk about the good old days and then the husband says to me.

"You know, you lost SOOOOOOO much weight."
"Um... a little. Thanks! I'm still working on it."
"No seriously, you're a LOT smaller. You lost SOOOO MUCH!!! You look good!!"

Conversations like that, while have the best intentions always make me wanna die because really. HOW BIG WAS I BEFORE!?!? A simple "you look good" would have totally sufficed rather than stress how I used to be a big huge cow in college.

Then here comes the kicker. This is part in the romantic comedy when the audience cringes.

"So, are you seeing anyone?"

Ahhh. Awkward life. This is why I write shit down.

I Guess I Shoulda Known by the Way You Parked Your Car Sideways That It Wouldn't Last

It's not a suprpise by those who know me, but I admit, I'm not the best driver. There are 2 things going against me. I'm Asian and I'm a female. I'm not one for racial and sexist stereotypes, but in this case, I fit it to the T. And I really do try to be a better driver. And while the last accident I had was actually my fault, the previous 2 before that weren't my bad at all. The one before those... yeah. And then my first one that wasn't my fault either.

Not too bad right?

When I was 16, getting my drivers license was a traumatic experience. I had to take the drivers test several times that in the end, my dad found a family friend who worked at the DMV and had me drive the course repeatedly one late summer night until I had ever turn, stop, arm signal etc down. And its not that I'm a bad driver because I know I definitely could be worse. But taking that test was a lot of pressure on pathetic 16 year old me who wanted her drivers license BADLY and didn't want to eff up.

So you can only imagine my horror when I looked down at my current drivers license and discovered that it's expiring on my birthday. In June.

I mentally cataloged through all my mail and realized that I never received my renewal. Did I miss something? Maybe I could renew online. But when I registered and put in my information, it said I was ineligible and needed to call the office.

The girl at the DMV was super sweet and explained to me that since I renewed my license twice via mail in the past, I would now need to go to the actual office and renew. Which means, new picture, new fingerprints, and I would need to RETAKE THE WRITTEN TEST.

F*CK.

So, here I am blogging with my driver's handbook ready to get highlighted and studied. You'd think that 15 years later, I'd be chill and breezy regarding this, but sadly I've reverted to a nervous 16 year old and I'm slightly freaked out about it. I don't want to be the 30 year old without a driver's license!! Do you know how long it's gonna take me to get to work on the bus?

What if I fail and I need to drink... will they take expired licenses?

I don't even want to know.

***UPDATE***

So I get to the DMV and while the guy in front of me getting his license renewed looked shocked when he was told that he needed to retake the written test, I was just as shocked to be told nothing about a test. Just that my ID would take 3-6 weeks to get to me.

That's right suckas. This girl didn't take have to take it at all. WOOOOOOOOOT!!


So where we going? ;)

Backstreet's Back. Alright!

Idle threats idle threats. But after a long conversation in the predawn hours post Rapture and thinking about it more and more the last couple of days, I am determined to blog more. Its crazy to think that I started this in 2000. 11 Years!?! What happened? I used to be so cute and adventurous... Now I'm just a sad shell of what used to be.

Kidding!!

So Nicole, how has it been lately you ask?

Well, here's the cliffnotes: I work a lot. I fell in love. It was really nice. But then I had this moment where I realized I wasn't as happy as I could be. Why? Different wants and needs. So now I'm single and actually quite content with life. Its funny, when you break up with someone, you don't think you'll get to that point cause you're too busy crying like a crazy and missing that person. But then you do all those typical things you do during a break up: drink, party, immerse yourself in work, surround yourself with friends, go on a crazy roadtrip, listen to a lot of Maroon 5, and boom... there you go. Clarity. You're in a better place. You have no regrets. You're eager to move on and find what you really want. And you're actually happy with how life is. She will be loved bitches. She will be loved.


So where am I now?

Well, can I just say that I've met a lot of interesting gentlemen lately and I'm actually going into this with a very open mind and carefree attitude. And its been an absolute blast!! Of course, I'm sure there will be another post just dedicated to some of the characters I've been meeting because, yeah... there's a LOT of crazy out there. But since this is my first trip back to bloggsville, I know I should leave you wanting more like a sweet delicious tease.

~*~

Its weird to think that sometimes my mom and I talk freely about our dating lives. 5 minutes after walking through the door the other day, she asked me "How's the love life."

I proceeded to tell her about this one guy I've been talking to more frequently and she knew to ask the important questions:

"Does he have a car?"
"Yes Mom..."
"Does he have friends?"
"Yes Mom..."
"Does he like his family?"
"Yes Mom..."
"Well he sounds great so far!!"

You think I kid, but she knows what my heart is looking for.

Oh no....

K: You went to the forest? OOOOHH I wanna go to the forest! Did you lay in a patch of flowers with your boyfriend and pretend you're Bella?"

N: Oh yeah... I made him wear some Victoria Secret lotion so that he would be all sparkly.