Say Cheese... Now Smile!

I went to my dad's earlier tonight. When I got there, there was a group playing mahjong in the garage. Apparently they had a rosary beforehand for my Nanang... and they've been having it all week since she died. What really annoys me is that NO ONE TOLD ME. When I asked my dad why... he said "because you don't call me." What annoys me even more is that I was there Wednesday and they didn't say anything. I talked to him briefly on Friday... nothing. All this time, I had been wondering about the family having prayers... just came to the assumption that they were waiting for the rest of the family to get in. But they've been having it all along!

Since I "moved out", I have been completely out of the loop. Yes, I'm sure a good part of it is my fault because I can pick up the phone as well... but really. Now it's just... argh. Nanang was in the hospital for 3 days before she died. Last time she had a "close call" a month ago, it was my cousin Jen who called me. The night she died, they KNEW she was going, but I didn't have an idea until it was too late and she was already gone.

I guess I'm more hurt than angry. I know my relationship with my dad has been pretty strained since.. well as far as I can remember, but all this? I've been here at home with Carlene mourning... while he's been with other family and they're having their closure. It just isn't fair... or maybe I'm just being self-centered and silly. Maybe I can't think straight right now. :( Whatever it is... it just hurts.