Say Cheese... Now Smile!

Have I told you that my dear mom has admitted to smoking weed back in the Philippines when she was a little girl? Apparently they had a bush and they smoked it in the attic. OH! Also have I told you the story about how my mom once got dared to see if she can jump off the roof and land without bending her knees?

It all makes sense now.

My sister, cousins, and I used to joke around that it takes A LOT to be known as a crazy one on my mom's side of the family. I guess its because my mom, aunt, and uncles are so gosh darn quirky and fun. My dad's side is quirky as well, but it usually involves alcohol. Nope... my mom's side is just quirky (despite the whole "smoking" when they were younger but that was ages ago and I doubt that they do it now... or do they?). I swear... how I do love them all. :)

Anyways, the CAKE is here.

My favorite crazy Uncle Sonny from Seattle is visiting for a day or 2. He flew in from Ontario, will fly out to Mexico @ LAX tomorrow, and will fly in to LAX at the end of the weekend only to fly out of Ontario to go back home. And in between the 2 California airports, he shall be spending quality time with US... joking around, cat-calling boys while in the car, trying to pimp out his favorite nieces to strangers on the street, and pinching.

His pinching... is painful. There are some pinches that are tiny and sting a little. No. My uncle likes to take entire pieces of flesh... and squeeze. And all the while, he'll be laughing. Laughing like a maniac. Laughing because your crys of "STOP!! OUCH!! IT HURTS!", "I'm gonna call the cops!" or "Social services is going to take me away from you Mom cause you aren't doing anything!!" bring him joy. Cause he's crazy like that.

And yet, I think it's because of HIM that I'm so "smart." Not in the "intelligent" sort, but in the "I know you are, but what am I" kind of way. You had to learn how to talk back in order to fight back with my uncle... then you can have a decent conversation.

(from 2/24/2003)
crazyuncle: are you on winter break? what's carl up to lately?
spaznik: nope.. we're all back at school...
spaznik: shes ok.. same ole stuff.
spaznik: whoring and snorting coke..
spaznik: you know.
crazyuncle: i bet! she has a major psycho baggage. she needs to accept that inside carl there is a man trying to come out! i think the boyfirend is just for show!
spaznik: hahaha... what are you doing chatting?
spaznik: are you finding your OWN boyfriend?
crazyuncle: my boy toy if asking for more...1 viagra a night is all i can manage.
spaznik: eww?!
crazyuncle: i better close for now, gotta work early. boy toy was here to help me set up this chat blah blah...in exchange for (oh you know...he only likes me for my body!)
spaznik: so he works for cheap huh.
crazyuncle: well, the stock market is down!

Welcome to my world.