Say Cheese... Now Smile!

Thank you to Keri for calling me while standing in front of the last copy of "WHITE CHRISTMAS" on DVD at Office Depot. :) Its nice to know that they actually do exist. Luckily for me, the night before, I got to watch it on TV... with lots of commericals. But hey, beggers can't be choosy and that should take care of my Bing fix for the rest of the holidays. Horray!

Today was my off day... and unfortunantly, it was spent in a very foul mood that was set off last night. At least the day is done, the feeling of "foul-ness" is gone and I'm left just depressed. I shouldn't let things get to me sometimes, but its hard when you feel like have no one on your side. I came to the realiziation the other night that I'm just lonely. Not lonely in the "oh woe is me, I don't have a boyfriend" type... just lonely. In a house full of people, its hard to imagine that I can even feel this way, but in the end, I exist and that's pretty much about it. I really hate feeling this way and I'm angry at myself for doing so because its pathetic and everyone hates those "I'm so sad" bullshit because shit, just get over it already. There are worse things out there that you being sad... and I know that. I only write this down because Lord knows I'd never be able to talk to someone this "deep" in real life. I'm much to chickenshit to show that I'm vulernable and too freakin sensitive sometimes... and goodness knows I don't want to be a downer to anyone. So here goes this nonsense into the mass void and with that, I'm done with it.

On a brighter note...

After a week of classes and the stress of needing to get a 100% on my computer knowledge test for work on my shoulders, I passed and I'm moving forward to my "on the job" training this week. Actually, I missed one question and competely freaked out once the test was over. After the test, I went to the break room with some of the girls and started talking about how easy it was. Then one remarked on how the question with the F14 was tricky for her... to which I replied... "oh... I had F3!". Then everyone nodded in agreement that it was actually f14 and I was screwed. Then I started tearing up, walked back to the classroom, and babbled in front of my trainers for a bit...

Me: I MISSED ONE! IS THAT BAD?? THATS BAD HUH! THATS REALLY BAD!
My trainers: Go sit down Nicole...

Then we went to lunch and with my emotions running rampant, I really wanted to eat everything in sight... but I didn't. One of the older ladies kept on saying the sweetest things to me and my desk homie Dennis kept me sane by stating that "STUPID PEOPLE GET JOBS EVERYDAY." That made me feel better... sorta. :) In the end, like I said earlier, I "passed" although I need to retake the test tomorrow and get 100% (F14 BITCH!!), but at least I keep the job. So yay for that. Actually, yesterday afternoon I got to meet and shadow my "on the job trainer", who was very friendly and took me on a tour of the hotel's swanky suites... Cribs style. Oh to be rich... Everyone in the department is super sweet, and even when I'm just walking around the grounds, EVERYONE IS FRIENDLY AND SMILING. It's like they're all on crack or something... but it's a lovely atmosphere to work at and I think I'll really love it there.