Sometimes I stop and think "Mom... are you smoking CRACK!?!". She really is something... she would probably make a very colorful Ronald Dahl character. I think that she is the reason why my sister and I are pretty "witty". (some may say that more like SMARTASS but I like to think of it more as "quick wit".) When we were younger if we lost or misplaced something.... or was just BLIND... we asked mom for help. Her response would be "WHAT WILL I DO IF I FIND IT?" I guess to any other child in this situation, it would have been considered a threat. A "find your own damn toy and let me finish painting my nails... cause if I find it then you'll really get it for interrupting me" kind of thing. But in our oh so crazy household, it was the breeding ground for sarcasm. Sure, we took her seriously at first. But then as she kept on using this line over and over as we kept on loosing things, our comebacks became more varied. "Um.. Give us a good beating??" "Um.. give it to me?" "Um.. find it?" "Dance for joy?" "Really.. what would you do if you find it?"

I think my mom's sole purpose of getting a cell phone is to call me when I'm at home... to make sure that in 5 minutes I'll be out in the garage, ready to collect the groceries in her car

Actually, I think my parent's sole purpose of having kids was so that they don't have to clean the house. :) oh you laugh... but I think its true. For example... when Carlene and I were younger, we'd go swimming. (hence for that reason NO ONE is allowed to see our pictures during the "swimming phrase." We were DARK kids wearing NEON. ugly ugly ugly.). Well on our way out to the pool, my dad would stop us and say.. "while you guys are out there... can you guys scrub the alge off of the walls?" Sure it was fun playing with the brushes... but for the first 5 minutes!! It had gotten to the point where I think that he was convinced that he had this little army of poolboys/girls and he would bust out the brushes when our little friends would come over swimming.

I grew up thinking the vacuum was a large HEAVY toy.

I think my parents had this idea that Carlene and I would be the finishing touches in their dream of having a BAND. They would make us practice our piano and watch THE SOUND OF MUSIC... so that we can aspire to be like the VON TRAPP family. Mom would have us perform for her with the karaoke... put on our dance costumes and sing the Spinners' "Working my way back to you babe." or the Carpenters "Please Mr. Postman." It was easy performing for mom and dad at home... but then they wanted to show us off at parties and flipino events... and we'd break down and cry hysterically. Well I guess it was a "performing" thing in general cause even when asked to play the piano for guests... I'd have to be hauled out from the comforts of my bedroom, tears streaming down my face, and hiccupping as I'd play Fur Else. I was such a baby back then. (don't you dare say... "and you still are!")

Oh there are more crazy antics that our parents made us do.. but they are just WAAAYY to embarassing to write about... or even tell. I'm cringing even as I remember them. And if I did... then I surely would get a beating from my mom. :) Ahhhh memories.

I'm going through this weird funk at the moment. I don't know what it is... Maybe its this damn cold weather. I guess usually I'd be all "YAY ITS COLD!! I GET TO BUNDLE UP AND BE ALL CUTE AND COLD." But it was totally unexpected. Sure its January and technically still winter... but we're in SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA! The other week it sunny! The whole coldness just doesn't motivate me to go out... yeah I go to school... but I run out of my car into the classroom... and out of the classroom into my car... and then straight into the house. Hmmmmm.

OR maybe its because I've been reading this really depressing book. You'd think it would be damn hilarious since its Margaret Cho's memoirs... and there ARE parts in it that are funny... but gosh, it makes me wanna put her out of her misery... and put myself out of this new found misery since I can sorta relate with her with some of the issues. (just not the whole excessive sex, drug, booze parts.)

Maybe its because I'm having these horrible CRAMPS and I pretty much just wanna bundle up in bed (where its WARM!!), continue reading the depressing book, and munch on some form of chocolate while I bargain with myself that by eating it... I will spend an extra 10 minutes on the elipitical... that is if I can haul my ass out of the WARM bed and into the gym.

I dunno... but I've been driving myself mad and probably making myself more miserable by listening to KOST 103.5, belting along with Whitney Houston to "I HAVE NOTHING" while taking a shower. OH MY GOSH... yeah... it could be KOST.. the other night there this sad sad letter from one chick who broke up with her boyfriend... wait... i think the boyfriend broke up with her cause of something she did.... I dunno.. but it was so depressing and she was all apologetic... and she requested Peter Cetera's "HARD TO SAY I'M SORRY." I was ready to pour shampoo into my eyes cause that made me so sad!!

I think ultimately... I'm lonely. UGH. Pathetic huh. But think about it, these past few weeks, my mom was off and Carlene was here. There was always someone here when i got home... but now with everyone off and doing their own things... I come home, the house is empty... and I am alone. I study. When I'm not studying I'll spend quality time on my computer waiting for someone to entertain me or read some bittersweet romantic work of fiction. ITS SAD!! I don't mind staying at home... its comfy. This past weekend, I did nothing really but stay home... I was hella bored... but I was bored with my sister which made it interesting... somewhat.

I have no idea how I can fix this... I guess is something that I have to deal with cause ultimately I'm going to grow up and there is a possibility that I will be alone. Back in the days of San Dimas it was easy cause Melissa was down the hill, down the street and up the hill... Lisa was down the hill, into Glendora and up the mini hill, and Tam wad down Grand. Hell, Xanti was 5 houses away too! So it was relatively easy to call someone up and kick it. But now I'm out here in the booooooonnies. And everyone had their own lives... doing their own thing.... down by their own schools. Gosh... I really miss those easy days.

Ok... I need some milk.

P.S. sorry for such a whiny and depressing blog. I really don't like reading other folks whiny and depressing blogs cause those either make me 1) depressed as well or 2) hella annoyed at the person cause its like "dammit!! snap out of it!" so if I make you feel any of those... I really am sorry. I promise to be more cheery and happy next time. :)

Don't you hate it when you go shopping and you try on clothes... and the clothes have a massive amount of static on it... but then you come out of the dressing room looking like you just got the shag of a lifetime because it was rubbing against your hair? And you don't realize that you look like this until you get home and you look at yourself in the mirror? Yeah... it sucks.

"Lately I been thinking ‘bout you, cause you've been creeping in my dreams..."

Went to a TV taping of "Grounded for Life" today... it was good. LOOOOONNNG... but entertaining. :) Haven't really watched the show before, but its pretty ok. The audience guy was kinda annoying though... but he was hilarious at times. They had this whole audience participation thingie where he got 5 guys... and made them dance *strip/sexydance/whatever you call it* to THE FULL MONTY... that was GREAT! Too bad I didn't have my camera to capture Armando in action. *yep ladies... he was PICKED!!* heheheheheh... AS for the girls... he picked 2 in the audience to karaoke. Thus, here is my new embarassing moment to add to the montage of horrifying memories....

Well the audience guy asked for girls to volunteer and since I was sitting next to LOUD LUC, he volunteered me. But the audience guy didn't pick me and went with other girls instead. Thats cool I though... until I see their karaoke songs they have to sing. OK.. I'm not going to brag that I'm like ALICIA KEYES or this HOT DAMN DIVA in the making... but I love to sing and yeah... I can carry a tune. SO when they started singing songs I knew that I can perform well, then I was bitter. Unfortunantly God was looking down at me and cursing me... so he sent down a sign... one of the cameras broke in half during the taping so they had extra time for another girl to karaoke. ME. yay.

SO there I was, my friends cheering, it was my moment to "shine"... and then my song is unveiled.. Aretha Franklin's RESPECT. A GOSH DARN FREAKING SONG.... and well.. I choked. It was horrible. Yeah... I was BAD. The key was too high, my throat was all constricted, and I just couldn't save myself. It was as if God came down and bitch slapped my ego. OH well.. what can I do now.. except cower in the corner and cringe everytime I hear that damn song. So much for getting discovered. :)

That ranks up there with me falling off the stage at the House of Delegates at Convention and when Joey Brunasso pointed out my broken bra strap chillingoutside my sleeve in the 8th grade while I had a crush on him. *stop laughing Keri*

Anyways, going on this download craze. :) SO if anyone has any suggestions.. do tell.

Playing with the template again and suprising myself with the fact that I CAN do this stuff. :) Got some new links. :) arent YOU excited!?!? first one is Michael's... its BLUE. :) Sure when he's here he walks around chanting "NEEKOL NEEKOL over and over again and talks in his oh so fobby accent... but he's pretty gosh darn cool. :) The other one is Richard's... he promises to write some uplifting, insightful, and Pulitzer prize winning stuff. We'll see... ;)

SO today... I was breathing.

Inhaled...

Exhaled...

Yeah... it was exciting. :)

Carlene is going CRAZY. She's insane... needs to go back to school i think. Apparently when I got online, she spent 305 minutes on the computer... SCARY.

Last night I was watching this lame ass flipino movie "Bakit Labis Kitang Mahal" (Why do I love you so much")... It was your typical cheesy filipino love story with Aga Mulach, Lea Salonga, and Ariel Rivera. Sandy (Lea) and David (Ariel) are engaged. Tommy (Aga) breaks up with his girlfriend Cynthia (who everyone, since they have thick accents, calls "CYN-CHA"), and is basically a bum. So David feels bad for Tommy and bring him along on his trip to the provence to visit Sandy who's staying with her Lola. Then David has to leave cause theres a family emergency leaving Tommy and Sandy alone in the provinces, where they kiss and instead of having sex, they caress each others faces for 3 minutes as a cheesy love song plays. 2 days later, David comes back. Tommy leaves and Sandy breaks up with David blaming him for their current situation cause he left in the first place. David leaves and Sandy goes to Tommy and asks him if he loves her, but Tommy feels guilty so he says NO and gets brutally bitch slapped. SO Sandy is pathetic and runs back to David and they decide that the wedding is back on. Tommy goes by the engagement party and is all depressed.. so he leaves. Unfortunantly, Cyn-cha's burly men gang comes and beats him up. David gets a call from the hospital and goes to visit Tommy and realizes that Tommy really does love Sandy even though they knew each other for 2 days...then he goes to Sandy and says hes letting her go so that she can be happy... and Tommy and Sandy live happily ever after. ALL in the span of about 3 hours! Funny thing is, I was soo enthralled by this movie, even though the picture was SOO bad, the mouths were not in sync with the actual voices, the sound was really off tune, the acting wasn't really oscar worthy, and the clothes were really UGLY... I couldn't stop watching it. And to think... I used to CRY over this movie with Harmony back when we were at SL... gosh... thats so lame!!